Is there a rule book that provides clear guidance on when to throw in the towel? These days there’s a book on just about every topic, but humor me. Let’s say there isn’t a “IS IT TIME TO LET GO?” book on the shelves at Barnes & Nobles. My reasoning for this would be that when a relationship has run its course, we receive fairly clear indicators, signs, warnings that we tend to ignore.
How many of us have known a relationship or friendship was irretrievably broken, but we refused to let go for one reason or another? Yes, there’s history there, but how many signs should we need in order to make a sensible decision? Some of us may need a parade of signs screaming & yelling, “Ruuunnnnn!!”
We’ve all witnessed friends and family suffering through hell, when they have clearly exhausted all possibilities of reconciliation. They’ve seen just about every red flag possible, but absolutely refuse to cut their ties.
We know the trust has been broken. Some have been cheated on or they’ve seen clear signs of jealousy. Maybe your name has been slandered or you’ve constantly been abandoned when you needed this person the most.
They no longer have your best interest. They disregard your feelings. They claim to be happy for you but can’t wait for you and everything you love to crumble. Maybe there’s distance between you two. You try to work passed it but so much damage has been done. Why do you still choose to hang on? When is enough enough?
When are you allowed to move on and be happy? When is it okay to be a little selfish and say my happiness matters and this isn’t working out? When will you finally throw in the towel?
Is it after 300 arguments or constant name calling? It’s also very common for us to allow ourselves to slowly slip into a depression? We even refuse to speak to one another, passing each other by as if the other doesn’t exist. Why are we living in tension that is so thick we could cut a knife through it? Is it because we enjoy the pain or do we secretly want to have something to hold against our S/O or friend?
When is it time to address the elephant in the room? When will you say yes we have history and we’ve become comfortable in our misery, but we both deserve better? When is time to walk away? We see beautiful people die everyday, and if life has taught us anything, it has definitely taught us that it is short.
I understand that when you are married with children, this situation could be extremely difficult to walk away from. But I’ve been there and guess what, I did everything to save my marriage before walking away. Because of that, I am at peace with my decision and we are great at coparenting. I’m still standing…
Ask yourself, “What am I holding on to?” and stop ignoring the signs. Listen to your heart and walk in your truth.